Love Poem

[billy]

the poem has some beautiful images jack, some of the phrasing is extremely good. it's one of those "i wish I'd wrote it" poems but it lacks a connection. the great words are hiding something away from the reader.
it would take between 5 and ten words to to bring this poem into something really exquisite. preferably at the beginning of it all the lines are better than good. it just need a couple more to act as the key.

thanks for the read.

She is like the churches of my ancestors: i love this line but need instant gratification as to who is 'she'?
pointed, ornate and Christian,
divorced from the Pagan and Greek,
whose droppings are still smeared
across our English towns.

She is Pugin's dream: are we on about the architectural artist? so the 'she' is a church?
the Palace of Westminster
restored as a tribute to You, okay, so the you isn't a church.
an ancient door leading back to the times
before the Protestants cried out,
forcing us into a spiritual desert. i wondered if dessert would have given it a bit of lightness, though perhaps not

I'd rather be tortured in a Catholic hell
than live forever in this secular Sodom,
if You would let me see her face
carved on a brimstone spire. the her of the poem, i'd like to have seen her by now.

Grace dances through her eyes
like a tortured martyr.
When I saw her last - sheltered by a giant tree,
cradling a book as she read half-aloud,
her lips miming each word,
and her sun-coloured hair
caught in a cage of lace -
I wanted the grace in those eyes
to work a heavenly violence upon me. bloody marvellously beautiful...who is she?

If she'd stood and turned around
her gaze, focusing intensity
to a rapier's point,
would have set that tree on fire. to much like one of the xmen
Together we'd have witnessed
a hundred birds exit,
while each branch blackening
became a testament to Your voice,
and I'd have never seen
such a beautiful arson.