Escaping the Shadow of Hate

[Todd]

Hi Jack,

I haven't really read any of the comments so forgive me if I touch on something you already address.

I sense my father's dumb, outdated homophobia rising in me
when I look at you: shameless, sexually aggressive slut,--it could just be a preference on my part but I'm not much a fan of a listing of adjectives (i.e., dumb, outdated, shameless, sexually aggressive). The poem might just be better with homophobia alone in line one without the qualifiers and ending on you in line two.
flame of blond hair--great description. Given the context flame is a subtle choice that works on two levels
through an ennui of scalp;--the phrasing feels off here. If you used ennui in a different way and had some action illustrate it, it might come through better. It feels on the verge of working, but not quite.
you tremble with a narcissism I just want to punch.--I love the first part of this line especially. I don't think you need just

Me too, I think, alone in this tear between self and hatred,
I'm gay, like you. But there's something about you
that's sickening; your touchy-ness, your arrogance,
that stupid and pandering way you give every word
a second meaning, almost sucking your fingers--the sucking fingers thing makes this whole section work for me.
like some demented bitch.

I had to get some air; standing alone on the porch of the pub,--would staying with present tense be better here
as signs still glowed in a vacuous dark,--again glow may provide more immediacy
I leaned against a rail and wanted to be somewhere warm,--again tense, and like the break
without you.

Gay men still scare me, I think,
and a shudder licks my heart as I type this.--I like the final lines, though I'd consider ending on heart. Moving beyond the scene stole some of the power from the observation for me.

Hope some of that helps. I enjoyed the read.

Best,

Todd