Escaping the Shadow of Hate

[billy]

there's an intolerance in the poem that emanates from the 1st person's sexuality and the fathers ability to create guilt. i think you capture the inner turmoil well. mainly i just had a few nits. after a few reads the poem smooths out, i enjoyed the introverted look the poem delivers into the sexual emotion within the poem. what really stands out is the love hate between father and 1st person self. i say 1st person because i have no idea if it's about you.

I sense my father's dumb, outdated homophobia rising in me
when I look at you: shameless, sexually aggressive slut, i'd have put an extra comma after aggressive as well.
flame of blond hair
through an ennui of scalp; not sure i understand this line, do you mean the person has or gives little thought?
you tremble with a narcissism I just want to punch. effing excellent.

"Me too" I think, alone in this tear between self and hatred,
"I'm gay, like you". But there's something about you i don't think you need the quotes, here or above, italics might do a better job and come across as thoughts
that's so sickening; your touchy-ness, your arrogance, is 'so' needed?
that stupid and pandering way you give every word
a second meaning, almost sucking your fingers solid image of sexuality
like some demented bitch.

I had to get some air. Standing alone on the porch of the pub, should it be a semi colon after air?
as signs still glowed in a vacuous dark,
I leaned against a rail and wanted to be somewhere warm, good two lines to end the stanza. i like the enjambment
without you.

Gay men still scare me, I think, the couplet feels trite, though that said it also feels the gay thing to write. not sure it works though.
and a shudder licks my heart as I type this.