Realisation

[billy]

been having some isp problems so not been able to get on for more than a few mins at a time i think the first part of the 1st stanza could be better worded. i left some feedback in the poem. i get the sense or lack of serenity re god but wonder if using him and poetry in such a way works well. still, the poem has jack stamped on it and your originality shines through. most of my remarks are nits that you could remedy or not as you see fit :0

Remembering a walk beneath the pier, During would be a substitute suggestion for remembering or simply "on---" the name of the pier would be good.
supported by posts like Grecian columns this line could be written many ways, for me 'supported on Greeklike pillars' (or columns) is a suggestion
rotting deep within a silent forest, the drama feels too dramarish.
then how I stepped onto the beach beyond, when i stepped...
where huts in the distance blurred in a light for me [in a light] would work better on the next line,
that mocked their wooden objectivity, love this and the line above. it depicts that dazzle vision you get coming out of a dark tunnel really well
I realise that I don't need Jesus.
Dead men and women have done more for me
than Jesus, the saints, and all of their troops.
Poets gave hope when Sunday school could not. solid line i think you could better bring god into the picture using the same words;


Poets gave hope when Sunday school could not.
Dead men and women have done more for me
than Jesus, the saints, and all of their troops.

I writhe in nature, like a Romantic,
record its tensions, like an Imagist,
lament its silence, like Confessionals.
Poetry is what lies beyond mankind,[ is what] needed?
poems the violent oneness with God.
They are the birth, death and resurrection.