coughing up blood in the morning

[serge gurkski]

Seems there's little use to me
in writing too much on it.

Bleak extracts of morning
ushered out of smoky lungs.

Exeunt via lips,
descend no lower than the ground.

Small metallic streaks of red
among the normal junk.

Mortality in mucus,
washed away by tears of clouds.

--------------------------
Good morning Lewis.

I have but one nit:

"exeunt"

Because that is a plural, but refers to "bleak". So it must be (banal): exit. *

Otherwise: fine stuff.

cheers

Gurkski

------------------------------
* or naturalmente you could go for a cool line break like that here:

ushered out of smoky lungs,

exiting via my lips

No Serge. "Exeunt bleak extractS". As written.
Best,
tectak
Lewis,
Yes. I think you could put the start at the end...it would be a better terminator than the last line as is.
Still think it is unnecessary, though.
Best,
tectak

Tom, damn, you're right. I'd blush (if I still could ;-) cheers to you

---

but it makes you feel good, no? so, now you owe me a favor, too. ;-) but no semi-colon stuff please.