On the turning tide

[billy]

Hi Keith.
after the first few reads it feels as though you have two poems here.
(it reminds of the latest jackson episode that's in the news)
the first stanza feels to start off pretty blandly. the title works with the last stanza and the salty metaphors you have there. it fits in with the break/make up, but doesn't work too well with the Viking imagery.

Misspelt names in a lawyer's book,
another couple to suckle, on the bloated belly
of claim and counter, pain and mistrust.
Our story should not be crushed for me this is where the first stanza should start, the last lines imply what the 1st 3 lines say.
one to be told, booming in great halls
with dripping goblets and roaring fires,
boar's legs, pig's heads and laughter.
Not lost to papers, shuffled on table tops
picked at by who, has what, and not. i like the images in this stanza. their firm and old style. rough and ready.

Scream, counting the seconds between, the metaphors in this stanza feel at odds with the first stanza.
lightning flash and thunder clap,
take my hand the storm will pass.
The rocks did not dash our craft
ragged beneath we missed the reef.
Washed clean in sea spray showers,
we wipe away, bitter milk from our lips.
slip away, from signatures and begin again,
as morning gulls caw in our new day.