04-24-2013, 08:02 AM
The last verse might be more powerful if you end it after "bleeds", as "with the passion/of Anonymous" feels a bit sentimental. JMHO, of course, and that's the only quibble I have, because the rest of the poem is sharp and evocative in its detached, detailed portrait of an urban/artistic scene.
Your use of adjectives is especially good ("confident pastels", "virgin asphalt", "hopeful jar"), almost anthropomorphising the inanimate in a way that makes your images richer. Thank you for the read
Your use of adjectives is especially good ("confident pastels", "virgin asphalt", "hopeful jar"), almost anthropomorphising the inanimate in a way that makes your images richer. Thank you for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe