04-23-2013, 01:57 PM
This was an interesting read! Misery Guts and Smoochy Pops huh? Creative 
Some of the rhymes are quite cliche though: love & dove, lies & eyes (although I realize this is part of the Shakespeare rephrase), sad & mad, death & breath,
Also, I'd suggest changing the lines with the repetition of 'of her' in the 2nd stanza.
My favorite line was "The opposite souls in each of their breasts". Very interesting turn of words!
Thanks for the read
Some of the rhymes are quite cliche though: love & dove, lies & eyes (although I realize this is part of the Shakespeare rephrase), sad & mad, death & breath, Also, I'd suggest changing the lines with the repetition of 'of her' in the 2nd stanza.
My favorite line was "The opposite souls in each of their breasts". Very interesting turn of words!
Thanks for the read