04-14-2013, 01:32 PM
Dense and admirable exploration of ambition and disillusionment.
I love the natural and effective use of rhythm. I love the tone, the mystery, the substance. I love the mention of two worlds in the start, the exposition of them, and then the restatement at the end. Beautifully done, with I thought just the right amount of direction for the reader.
My distraction is in the appearance of very terse verse in places then highly elaborate--almost redundant--in others. I know--I may simply not get it. But for example: "Belief made grief the penalty" seems to me vague (for lack of a better word); is it belief that caused the grief, or belief that brought action that met something external that then caused failure, or some combination? Many omitted steps leave me feeling a little too unguided.
On the other hand, "Holding high the head of cranial delusions" strikes me as the opposite; are there other delusions besides cranial? can they be elsewhere besides the head?
Just my first thoughts on reading. My apologies to all if I'm not doing this right -- first day here.
Overall, thanks for a great poem filled with gems to ponder.
I love the natural and effective use of rhythm. I love the tone, the mystery, the substance. I love the mention of two worlds in the start, the exposition of them, and then the restatement at the end. Beautifully done, with I thought just the right amount of direction for the reader.
My distraction is in the appearance of very terse verse in places then highly elaborate--almost redundant--in others. I know--I may simply not get it. But for example: "Belief made grief the penalty" seems to me vague (for lack of a better word); is it belief that caused the grief, or belief that brought action that met something external that then caused failure, or some combination? Many omitted steps leave me feeling a little too unguided.
On the other hand, "Holding high the head of cranial delusions" strikes me as the opposite; are there other delusions besides cranial? can they be elsewhere besides the head?
Just my first thoughts on reading. My apologies to all if I'm not doing this right -- first day here.
Overall, thanks for a great poem filled with gems to ponder.