Chasing vodka with cigarettes.

[newsclippings]

It gets to a good point. Your poems are happenings, they're fast and moving away.

What bothers me is that I feel bad when I'm trying to be a good person, and the other person isn't; so I'm at a disadvantage. And then when I stop being a good person, because they're not; they still hold me up to standards that neither of us can hold given the bullshit circumstances. So I'm always at a disadvantage.

So the only way anything can get done is if you're a bad person from the start. That way, there's no expectation.

I think good people only have happy love lives by pure luck. The people that get the most love are monsters. I'm a monster, but I'm a freak monster. When I try to be a good person, people are shocked and run away in confusion.

Anyway, that's what I felt and thought after reading this short poem.

I was good at first, then I tried not to give a damn, but it didn't work. So I went back into trying to be a respectable person so I didn't have to hate myself, but ended up in a violent rage.