04-10-2013, 02:02 PM
Okay, after countless thoughts on the topic (and pulling my hair off), I'm still as unsure as ever, although, I would want to present my side of it.
First of all, I used alteration in this poem, and "I Lay" sounds nicer than "I Lie" as "lie" is often connected to "telling the untruth". More so, "I Lay" is more pleasing to the ears (as Heartafire stated, it is more "cute", for lack of better word). Secondly, lie's, as an intransitive verb, past form is lay and past participle is lain. I do notice that there are a few shifts in tenses, but as I would like to call it, these are necessary ones to maintain not only, consistency but also, to emphasize how this is being narrated in more of the past.
Also, about
Please do not take this as I not accepting negative criticism, because I really appreciate everyone's feedback on this, but as merely, me trying to improve.
Hoping to get enlightened, Zero.
First of all, I used alteration in this poem, and "I Lay" sounds nicer than "I Lie" as "lie" is often connected to "telling the untruth". More so, "I Lay" is more pleasing to the ears (as Heartafire stated, it is more "cute", for lack of better word). Secondly, lie's, as an intransitive verb, past form is lay and past participle is lain. I do notice that there are a few shifts in tenses, but as I would like to call it, these are necessary ones to maintain not only, consistency but also, to emphasize how this is being narrated in more of the past.
Also, about
Quote: "The sky was lonely as I/me, starless and dark" bit of a conflict of tense hereI always used "my friends and I" rather than "my friends and me", I'm not really sure if this applies though, so any clarifications please?.
Please do not take this as I not accepting negative criticism, because I really appreciate everyone's feedback on this, but as merely, me trying to improve.
Hoping to get enlightened, Zero.