04-06-2013, 01:59 AM
Ok, I've changed it a little, but I *really* don't want to use the word rape, as I think it would massively alter my narrator's characterisation. Does this help at *all* or is it just as confusing? I won't change it in the first post yet, as I am not sure if this makes it better or worse...
Privilege
And she said,
She said to me,
To me, a stranger,
Why to me?
Buttoned in our white shirts, red ties,
Neat collars, shiny shoes.
To me she said it.
Why?
And I thought, why?
To me, I mean,
Why then and there?
In black skirt, black trousers.
Silver plates,
With wine and food,
(Not ours).
Why say?
To me, a stranger, why?
And I said,
I said - what could I say?
When she had said,
To me I mean
'Not planned, he’s five’,
To me, and why
A stranger? 'And I love him,
But not planned, not joy not lust’.
I asked at lunch,
I asked.
And they agreed.
They, Henna, Sam and Peter.
They agreed, why me?
Her private -
But why me?
Why you? They asked me.
Why tell you?
I said, I only asked,
You know,
Not that.
I only asked to know,
Not that.
She's young, a son,
I asked.
But why?
Why me?
Her private business.
I only asked,
Why me?
Privilege
And she said,
She said to me,
To me, a stranger,
Why to me?
Buttoned in our white shirts, red ties,
Neat collars, shiny shoes.
To me she said it.
Why?
And I thought, why?
To me, I mean,
Why then and there?
In black skirt, black trousers.
Silver plates,
With wine and food,
(Not ours).
Why say?
To me, a stranger, why?
And I said,
I said - what could I say?
When she had said,
To me I mean
'Not planned, he’s five’,
To me, and why
A stranger? 'And I love him,
But not planned, not joy not lust’.
I asked at lunch,
I asked.
And they agreed.
They, Henna, Sam and Peter.
They agreed, why me?
Her private -
But why me?
Why you? They asked me.
Why tell you?
I said, I only asked,
You know,
Not that.
I only asked to know,
Not that.
She's young, a son,
I asked.
But why?
Why me?
Her private business.
I only asked,
Why me?