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Enchantment engraved in white waves won't bring the winged heart home
framed in nature the calls of days and nights alone.
In turn beauty is born in school runs splash
Spainsh clocks and hens are born heavens murmur,
pray there'll be a new song;
Talk To France And The Five Golden Rings Of April.
For Easter 2013
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I'm writing of the future.
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Hi,
Thanks for the read
It seems to me, that line 1 needs a "the". "won't bring the winged heart home". Just a suggestion
- Volaticus
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Thanks lady volaticus
If I put the full stop in at "the"
the home is on the second line and don't read good.
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No problemo
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Enchantment engraved in white waves
I really liked the alliteration, and it sounds to me that when said out loud it ebbs and flows like white waves themselves
those"won't bring the" "winged heart home"
Is there a real significance in the quotation marks? I think it would flow better without.
framed in nature
: the calls of days and nights alone.
In turn beauty is born in schools and rooms alike,
Perhaps swop schools for runs, the alliteration runs through the poem then and it ties in with the 'hens', 'winged'...
splash Spainsh clocks and hens are born heavens murmur,
pray there'll be a new song;
Talk To France And The Five Golden Rings Of April.
Overall I think it's very effective and sets a strong image in my head. Thankyou
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
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I agree. The quotation marks seems out of place.
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Interesting. I think the title is a little strange though - it recalls Yeats' Easter 1916, but then I'm not sure there's a connection in the rest of the poem. Was this deliberate?
