04-05-2013, 06:31 PM
I love the image that you've created in 6 lines. I wouldn't exactly call this critique, but it might be worth swopping some lines around, effectively changing the rhyming scheme.
Sun shines through the window shades
Summer scene for your mind to wonder
Rime in the morning light pervades
Wherever the green, fall will plunder
Winter's clutches take life from earth
In spring, blossoms show life's worth
I wouldn't lose hope in your poetic skills at all
Sun shines through the window shades
Summer scene for your mind to wonder
Rime in the morning light pervades
Wherever the green, fall will plunder
Winter's clutches take life from earth
In spring, blossoms show life's worth
I wouldn't lose hope in your poetic skills at all
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)