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[UnicornRainbowCake]

I can't think of much else to add that Leanne hasn't pointed out, it certainly would benefit from keeping the meter throughout. Great choice of vocabulary, but without the meter it can be a bit difficult to get through.

I also found 'Long ago I, too, was swallowed, though' a bit too punctuated. That's where the poem for me went a bit downhill (mainly because of the meter, and a few iffy descriptions).

I love this though -
who dream of their return to sunny warmth,
while I dream on of warmer touches than the sun.