Down the side of the Sofa

[Keith]

You know that gap down the side of the sofa,
the one that nobody cleans,
well I got the Hoover and tried a manoeuvre,
such a sight had never been seen.

As I got too close to the cyclone host,
in a breath I was gulped away,
too big for the tube and all out of lube,
wedged into the gap I stayed,

I reached around and an old lamp I found,
Just needed a rub of the hand,
appeared this bloke, room full of smoke,
asked what would be my command?

My good sir, don’t stand and stare,
you can see the scale of my plight,
I just don’t fit in this sofa’s slit,
I demand you see me alright.

He kissed his ring then a strange thing,
started to change the game,
I dropped in the gap the size of a gnat,
to a world that couldn't be named.

A world I said so you’re not mislead,
I’ll explain what I meant by this,
I met a dust mite who in the half light,
offered me crumbs and crisps.

She had chocolate chips and lollipop sticks,
receipts and giant toe nails,
from matted hair she’d made a stair,
that led to a rusty steel rail.

We both climbed up but my foot got stuck,
in some cheese strung out as a web,
lurking behind her a four foot spider,
you could hear me shout as I said.

Please help me, I command thee,
stepping out of my best running shoe,
the creature was near and I started to fear,
It was more than shoe I would lose.

My request once said was taken as read,
the man knew what was required,
with a finger click he reversed the trick,
then off to the lamp he retired.

With a spring on my head and cushions for legs,
I squeezed through the couch on return,
no sign of the man or a three wish plan,
I reflected on what I had learned.

Never again will I use unrestrained,
a Dyson that’s out of control,
nor will I dream of the gap no one cleans,
now I know what lives down that hole.

because the meter is so 'almost' consistent, it really stumbles when you decide not to use it. i would say, first order of business would be to set the meter on this one exact.

Overall, I like the read. Creative, interesting, new.

milo

Hi Milo thanks for the advice, the problem I have with the meter is people say the best way to master it is to read it out loud but when I do that it all sounds fine. When I count syllables I make changes that take stuff away and I feel something is lost but with this one there are a few places that I stumble on so will have a go thanks TOMH

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This is such a fun and creative romp! It brought to mind 'Alice in Wonderland' but in a contemporary and adult way. Nicely done, Lou.

Thanks Lou you have sussed me out. Thanks for your kind words. TOMH