Elegy

[NakedBear]

Why should we bother
to stipple-foot gather what does stipple-foot mean?
where the sun broken-melons the sky.Is it dawn or dusk?
And we try -
to couch up our fists over raw amethysts
and the schists of our home no comma at end, although it seems grammatically necessary to me. A number of enjambments lack punctuation marks where I might expect them.
of our bones.
But the blood runs chough-black
as we ride on their backs
through the brack
through the brack I like this line repeated. It almost sounds like a cart ridding down a rail line. It's a big reason I see a mine and interpret this poem as I do.
of the stones.
I will unclench this couch
I won't cough, I won't slouch
I won't curse
the bean green of the clover.I come away thinking that this is the narration of a miner whose dying from black lung. He wonders why men chase stones and cause themselves illness and death. How far off am I?
The tractors wont cough This seems to be a shift in the narration and I wonder if it is the same speaker. I'm thinking speaker resolves not to hate the promise of new life even though he's lost his father.

If it is a shift in narrator, wouldn't a blank line be helpful to avoid some confusion?

as they plow the cleft rough
I won't curse
as they turn the earth over.
The chore hands won't stay
and the orchids won't pray
oh daddy
I miss you today.
oh daddy
I miss you
today.

I don't really have suggestions for improvement. Just thought I'd offer my my thoughts on what I think you mean (while crossing my fingers that this is a helpful thing to do. Haha).

Mikey.[/b]