As the Clock Ticks

[NakedBear]

Revision
The clock ticks as all other noise fades.
but the clicking, ticking, time of day. This is a fragment. Remove the period on the previous line and put a comma. You can safely lose 'other' in my opinion. It's superfluous on the first line, since the second line says 'but [i.e. except] the clicking, ticking...' . Keep the 'other' in all the other places starting 'The clock', since it does makes sense in those places.
Pain rises and recedes, like the tides on the shore,
and after moaning and groaning, I hunger for more.
I sit in this chair watching the clock,
growing pained with every minute struck.
So what do I hear when silence remains?
The clock’s ticking as the other noise fades.

There are times of peace and times of war,
as I sit upon this chair.
What I find when I don’t turn to Him
is the clock does not care.
The terror being that life is a fraction of all.
Within a matter of seconds a nation can fall.
So what do I hear when silence remains?
The clock’s ticking as the other noise fades.

When I stand up I leave this dull room, Still think this line ought to end with a semicolon.
through the door I slowly slip out.
I ask “What remains the whole way through?”
He says “Nothing in time is devout.
I watched nations rise just as they fall.
Your times are merely fractions of all.
So what do you hear when silence remains, You forgot 'do'
and the clock’s ticking just as well fades?”

Definitely an improvement! Good job.

Mikey.