Contrast

[milo]

Thank you, Todd!
I am not in the habit of writing love poems, but frankly the cliches were deliberate, and a flirtation with a desire to take Hallmark and distort it, work as a pariah within its arena so to speak...
LOL
I will change the punctuation, as you are absolutely correct.

---

Thank you for reading and responding, Milo...
I always appreciate genuine emotional reactiveness such as this. However, your response does not invalidate my conception and expression of imagery and content, and I find it discourteous to state your opinion as such.
What I am saying is this....

Please do not take my observations personally, they are the observations of a reader. I, of course, mean no discourtesy. There is no emotional "reactiveness" at all.

"pale as the moon is cliche" did you consider that as possibly intentional? Did you consider the gestalt of imagery?
"tinted with peonies is nice." this is antipodal to your own statement about cliche, since the two lines form ONE image


It is just an observation. If you like the cliche, if it works for you, then do as you will with it. It is still a cliche.

"soft lunar eclipse is good." "good" is a moralizing adjective, are you certain that you are in a position to determine the worth of my words? Perhaps a more personalized statement of this thought would be more appropriate.

Hrrm. good could be moralizing or an observation of relative quality. If someone says they had a good breakfast, I wouldn't assume they had communion?


"bright embrace of shadow doesn't really work logically as it is very difficult to envision." the poem is about an interracial romance and this image is a conscious expression of the contrasts inherent in this. I did not intend to create a visual, the image is philosophical, abstract and theoretical.

I am glad it is working for you, it doesn't work for me.

the last statement you make about offset lines is, indeed, personal...I appreciate that you qualified your remark as a reaction as such.

normally it would be assumed.