Moon-Woman Cuts the Circle

[tectak]

Heat ripples the night, and the moon
is blown from her lips in blue smoke,
in the shed blood of dreams, and a crone's memory
of forgotten days of beauty spent
gazing upon still water.

Hi todd,
I confess that the imagery in this wins over any doubts I may have (and still have) over the content. I am not talking here about the quantity of content but about the certainty with which you imbue your work with "meaning". It makes me feel inadequate sometimes....but that will not stop me
OK. Yes, I think I can recall the wavering of distant objects as day-time heat rises above cooling earth. It ripples. I am proud of my interpretation...but it is the coming of a fall. It is that word "her". Who is she? Are we relating to an anthropomorphic "night", or is "she" a new character. Even on a re-read it escapes me.
So I am now at a disadvantage. Though I love dearly the imagery in "..blown from her lips in blue smoke.." I lose the need to question what it means, so I tumble forward in to the next line, and the next image...but as hard as I try I cannot link them as you may be intending; I am not for one moment saying that I am unable to link them at all...just that my interpretation is tenuously personal. Normally, this would be considered to be an acceptable state of affairs...critic interprets poem in wrong way...big deal. In this case, though, I think you have just missed giving me enough. I am not asking for more than enough. Just enough.
The next problem is the word "In" linked just too intimately with the word "shed". You can see where this is heading, I'm sure. Things go "in the shed". It is jolting to have to suddenly accept that shed is verby not nouny! I would change it...you may not.
Then we have the two "of" words. Next line. Not a crime. Easy to fix. What do you think?

Heat ripples the night.
The moon is blown from her lips
in blue smoke.
In the spilt blood of dreams,
a crone remembers
forgotten days of beauty,
spent gazing upon still water.

I have only tried to separate the "her" from the "night" by a change in punctuation. It may not be, as I began by saying, your intention. In fact, none of it may be your intention...but it is not my poem..it is yours.
Best,
tectak