03-11-2013, 07:08 AM
I am not so good with advice, but have recently been reading some of my teenage poetry [and just old stuff in general] so felt compelled to comment.
I would advise possibly watch out for clichés. We are talking about a broken heart [I assume, unless I am missing something], and in which case there are a lot of clichés dealing with this subject – the subject itself may be considered a cliché. Sometimes the emotion finds itself lazy, I know, and the biggest cliché is ‘clichés are true’.
I could numerate the clichéd lines [it would take a while], but maybe try looking for them, it’ll help.
Don’t rely on the idea that one is usually taught, that ‘anyone can write poetry’ or ‘express yourself’. I tried expressing myself on a flute once; I can’t play the flute, so imagine how that sounded.
I think if you look out there is a thread by Leanne [possibly the best advise you’ll get] called something like ‘your poem’s shit’ or something like that. It could help. I don’t mean that Your poem is shit by the way, in fact, I was thinking how ‘nothing changes’ hearts get broken and it is still the subject one wants to go back to. You obviously can write. So keep at it.
One more thing, ‘gone with the wind’… now I know it is used, in fact Bob Dylan used this phrase in one of his early songs, but I cannot help seeing references and possibly this is a genius move by you to add a cliché love film reference to a cliché poem [highlighting the fact it is as such], but to me it seems a little comical and possibly unintended.
I would advise possibly watch out for clichés. We are talking about a broken heart [I assume, unless I am missing something], and in which case there are a lot of clichés dealing with this subject – the subject itself may be considered a cliché. Sometimes the emotion finds itself lazy, I know, and the biggest cliché is ‘clichés are true’.
I could numerate the clichéd lines [it would take a while], but maybe try looking for them, it’ll help.
Don’t rely on the idea that one is usually taught, that ‘anyone can write poetry’ or ‘express yourself’. I tried expressing myself on a flute once; I can’t play the flute, so imagine how that sounded.
I think if you look out there is a thread by Leanne [possibly the best advise you’ll get] called something like ‘your poem’s shit’ or something like that. It could help. I don’t mean that Your poem is shit by the way, in fact, I was thinking how ‘nothing changes’ hearts get broken and it is still the subject one wants to go back to. You obviously can write. So keep at it.
One more thing, ‘gone with the wind’… now I know it is used, in fact Bob Dylan used this phrase in one of his early songs, but I cannot help seeing references and possibly this is a genius move by you to add a cliché love film reference to a cliché poem [highlighting the fact it is as such], but to me it seems a little comical and possibly unintended.