The Nature of Memory

[tectak]

You kissed me once,
Heather Denton, by your father’s
coal-shed, between the rhododendronsmaybe semi colon or it is between the rhododendrons and your life...even then you are shooting an elephant in your pyjamas
and the rest of my life, sincestrange place to change lines. You are not in rhyme nor rhythm so there is neither rhyme nor reason for it. I look ahead and see more of the same. The next line is apposite
which time I have been confused
as to your intention. You may
think it odd that some sixty years later
I remember my first time, I didn’t really,this is quirky punctuation. You seem to know what you are doing but decide to do the opposite!
but today I passed rhododendron "a" dietary requisite?
of exactly the same shade.

Hi bloggs, again.
I do hope we are not destined to fall out This is nice commitment verse. You knew where it was heading all along and went there like an Exocet! I am a punctuation pedant but can be easily distracted by the irritation of irrational line outs. Enjambment is one thing, but this
is
another.
I would not ask you to change it if is precious to you, but the form does nothing for the piece. All is opinion.
Best,
tectak