03-06-2013, 06:18 AM
Thanks for sharing your work. I know it takes courage!
I feel that this poem tries to express feelings that a lot of people experience, but it doesn't do so in an innovative way. It's more of a conversation...self-reflections without imagery and literary devices to make it more poetic. I feel you make a good effort in some places to create rhyme and rhythm, but it's inconsistent to the point that the ideas become a bit harder to follow.
I think it could help to perfect at least one or two literary devices in your poem. If you are going to stick to straight-forward ideas, then make sure they make sense, and maybe use consistent rhyme and rhythm. Or, if you want to add imagery, simile, metaphor...then perhaps you can be more free with the rhyme scheme. I hope this helps and isn't too much commentary for the novice section
I feel that this poem tries to express feelings that a lot of people experience, but it doesn't do so in an innovative way. It's more of a conversation...self-reflections without imagery and literary devices to make it more poetic. I feel you make a good effort in some places to create rhyme and rhythm, but it's inconsistent to the point that the ideas become a bit harder to follow.
I think it could help to perfect at least one or two literary devices in your poem. If you are going to stick to straight-forward ideas, then make sure they make sense, and maybe use consistent rhyme and rhythm. Or, if you want to add imagery, simile, metaphor...then perhaps you can be more free with the rhyme scheme. I hope this helps and isn't too much commentary for the novice section