A stepping stone

[Amy]

Thank you for the suggestions I never really think much about punctuation when I'm writing....A minor oversight on my part. LawLs love the signature

Firstly, do think about breaking your poem into different stanzas. It makes it easier to read and also helps with the pacing of the whole poem.

Secondly, punctuation. Use more proper punctuation in your poem, and once again it helps with pacing. Also, being able to inject appropriate pauses help to further immerse readers into your poem.

The good points about your poem are the tone and the language employed. They are really apt and give this sweet, slightly nostalgic feeling to it, grammatical errors notwithstanding. The lack of punctuation gives it a little bit of a rushed feel, which I'm sure you aren't going for, and that's why I suggested adding it into your poetry.

Really good attempt despite the flaws. Remember, all my comments are personal opinion so take what you will, and toss what you don't need. Hope to see more from you, and hope I'm of help! =)