Parallel Lines

[billy]

it has a feel of unrequited love about it, an image or two more would help it a lot. the latter half of the poem feel a little to tell

Remembrances like scattered scraps i'm wonder if scattered scarps is a much stronger opening than what you already have.
Floating like ashes from a fire. is 'like' needed?
White heat of passion burnt
The living flesh, leaving only
Insubstantial, cobweb skeletons.
I could only be to you
What soul required
You could not be to me
What flesh desired.
Forever on parallel lines
Joining only in some theoretical universe. i like these last two lines a lot. they have a feel of pointlessness