02-07-2013, 06:00 AM
(02-06-2013, 04:41 PM)welrzbmw Wrote: need some help i dont know if my poem makes sense im new to this stuff but im loving it! please help!The general idea is very comprehensible. You seem to say that Love overpowers us, often in a way which is negative.
What a strong emotion love is
Stronger than the oceans current
Like the current it is ever changing
Pulling and pushing people around
Like a bully at a schools steel jungle
Love is never clear just like
Driving through thick fog
Love is a warzone in our time
You must fight for this Euphoria
Or be forever alone in life.
The last two lines seemed out of place. There's an immediate change in direction from the warzone of love to its euphoric status (if that makes sense at all), without any real explanation of that euphoria.
I wasn't able to find any formal structure to your poem either, though that's not necessarily a bad thing.
I'm new to poetry myself, so take my criticisms with a grain of salt. You seem to follow a flow of ideas throughout the poem. Best of luck.
