02-02-2013, 03:39 AM
Well, I was a drunken socialite for the most part. I ran a small restaurant above a pub (same owners), the business started going down hill when they opened another restaurant down the road, lost money, cut wages, I had to fire people, I worked 6-7 days a week on salary. I was 21. I drank every night. I couldn't relax after work, I was high strung, under-nourished, over-worked, under-payed, I got a free staff drink every night which always led to having a couple more. I called it networking before it became a problem, and it was.
So yes, I get along (without the liquid courage) with people pretty well now - but it took serious introspection, seclusion, meditation and overall change. I think highly social people can be highly insecure, from my experience - there is this dependency on other peoples acceptance. I had to remove and then reintegrate myself into society, it was the only way for me to overcome my dependence. It can come with age tho, and wisdom I am sure, general life changes that throw you a loop - I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out.
What is security for you?
I am insecure about loads of things (as you know) but I have moments of security and clarity that I am always working for. I am more aware of my mental formations than I used to be, so less insecure because I can generally shift my thinking more than my thinking can shift me - and eventually I hope to change/eliminate certain thinking habits.
When it comes to my writing, I will re-write, rearrange, re-word maybe 50 times before I feel satisfied - editing is my way of really thinking about and developing what I am trying to say in the end. For some reason instead of editing before posting I almost always post first and then edit edit edit. I like to see it 'finished', edit and see it 'finished' again until I think it is finished. Even if it is just a simple comment. Huge anxiety I could never get rid of, I wouldn't want to.
i think it may be time for the discussion board
So yes, I get along (without the liquid courage) with people pretty well now - but it took serious introspection, seclusion, meditation and overall change. I think highly social people can be highly insecure, from my experience - there is this dependency on other peoples acceptance. I had to remove and then reintegrate myself into society, it was the only way for me to overcome my dependence. It can come with age tho, and wisdom I am sure, general life changes that throw you a loop - I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out.
What is security for you?
I am insecure about loads of things (as you know) but I have moments of security and clarity that I am always working for. I am more aware of my mental formations than I used to be, so less insecure because I can generally shift my thinking more than my thinking can shift me - and eventually I hope to change/eliminate certain thinking habits.
When it comes to my writing, I will re-write, rearrange, re-word maybe 50 times before I feel satisfied - editing is my way of really thinking about and developing what I am trying to say in the end. For some reason instead of editing before posting I almost always post first and then edit edit edit. I like to see it 'finished', edit and see it 'finished' again until I think it is finished. Even if it is just a simple comment. Huge anxiety I could never get rid of, I wouldn't want to.
i think it may be time for the discussion board
"What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning" - Werner Karl Heisenber