01-28-2013, 01:55 PM
Thanks for the acknowledgement doolasmind and of course thanks for complimenting the poem.
Regarding that first stanza, the syllable count is 9/9/8/8 nice and regular and the stresses are neatly alternate. If I remove "that" it throws the rhythm out. I'm curious about where you think the standard drops tho, might it be through Ss 6&7? If so that's a relief - they are v much tongue in cheek attempts to create poetry so rubbish it's gold! I may not have succeeded quite well enough yet.
Thank you again.
Regarding that first stanza, the syllable count is 9/9/8/8 nice and regular and the stresses are neatly alternate. If I remove "that" it throws the rhythm out. I'm curious about where you think the standard drops tho, might it be through Ss 6&7? If so that's a relief - they are v much tongue in cheek attempts to create poetry so rubbish it's gold! I may not have succeeded quite well enough yet.
Thank you again.