A Sullen Silent Night

[tectak]

No man's mind is safe
Nor can women’s hearts escapeNeither/nor, either/or. So: No man's mind is safe,
and a woman's heart cannot escape.
The sullen silence of a lonely night But a good opener. I want to know more

Storm clouds follow sunny skies
Like blood flows after battle cries This metaphor is a little flaky. The two lines equate clouds to blood, then afterwards sunny skies to battle cries. The two "relationships" do not tally. It is a nice idea but it doesn't quite ring true.
But true pain grows from love that’s died
Through the sullen silence of a lonely night You use the conditional "but" , yet fail to provide the condition. This needs a rethink.

A mother's voice inside a gloom "a" gloom is not definitive. Is there more than one "gloom"? No? Then it should be "the" gloom
A lover's choice brought naught but doomCapitalising every line is not required except in GCSE English exams, and probably not even then, but punctuating consistently should be. You have written "A lover's choice brought naught but doom a stoned rejoice". What does this mean?
A stoned rejoice; the flowers bloom
Like a summer joy that found its tomb
In the sullen silence of a lonely night ....but this is wonderfully emotive, clear and empathetic. I would drop the "a" before summer joy.

A shrivelled shell of yesteryear
A drunken ghost, an empty beerAgain, the punctuation lack is serious. "....an empty beer her haunting face..." is not worthy. You should be able to see this. As this piece is neither restricted by rhyme nor rhythm it should be easy to correct. I think that just getting clarification of what "an empty beer" is would help.
Her haunting face that reappears
Over the sullen silence of a lonely night

Dreams fade and drift away
A brilliant red that slipped to grey
As I became a sullen silent night The ending seems to be a relief to you. It is rushed and precipitous. Frankly, I would do away with it. The previous stanza is well qualified as a meritricious end. Sometimes it is a good technique to overshoot then retreat This is worth workshopping. Just a closing comment, though the alliteration may be precious to you, the word "sullen" is anthropomorphic. Could the poem do without it?
Best,
tectak