Nursery

[billy]

If it was a Cockatoo it would've bitten her back!

this iz whats it iz popeye

serious critique

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hi yella

I lay and scream because I cannot stand and run – hyphen not warranted, the line leaves the reader waiting for more and works well as an opening line
I have never walked on grass; I have never felt the sun.
I am in a massive warehouse but trapped in a small cage – no need for 'but' or hyphen
I am soaked in a bath of feces; I am too numb to gag. a comma instead of a semicolon, the same with the semi colon on a previous line.
I look into a puddle just close enough to reach; I drink the wriggling maggots – the doubling up of I am, and I, and I have read better as contractions, one or two were okay but now they take up too much of the poem and make it wordy.
Within me a silent screech.
Eating away at my flesh, as this cage eats my soul.is 'away at my' needed?
I bite the metal bars – I will never get parole.
The legs around me prod; they kick with aimless rage –
As a little girl at Christmas time chews innocently on my leg. would calf or some other leg part work so as to not repeat leg?
Someone tell this little girl! Tell her of my pain! Help her understand my world so life is not in vain!
Help her understand so she can make a choice - help her understand that the consumer has a voice.this line feels a bit trite and preachy, and doesn't help the poem.

some good lines and some like the last not so good, the rhyme scheme needs to be perfect at present it's there then it isn't there. the 1st three lines tie in well with the title and then it starts to get hairy to say the least. the poem feels more like an adult pretending to be a child. i'd say make it be the adult looking back to his memories of childhood and it will be more believable.

i'm also bad with grammar so try and stay on top of it, hyphens are a gimmick most of the time so no need for them till you know how to use them. good effort, i'd like to see an edit though as i think this one is workshop material.