01-17-2013, 09:59 PM
Thank you all for you feedback! This is very useful indeed.
The thing I did with this poem is that I tried to translate it. It's the first time I have done it. But I have to explain something:
1. I tried to maintain the original rhythm. Eminescu frequently shifted it making harmonious liaisons between one stanza and another.
2. I tried to respect the original form of the poem. The idea to make longer verses is very nice but does not go with the original. Eminescu wrote in very short verses.
3. The abstract meaning... well... that's something to work on, but even in original, Eminescu is something very different from the rest Romanian poetry. It's like Shakespeare for us.
4. I kept the rhyme scheme as in the original.
5. The gerunds in the second stanza are also from original.
Thanks, tectak for your version! I will try to use it to correct my mistakes!
Serge gurski, wow, do you speak Romanian? Is it your native language or you learned it?
Yes, I know referring to Eminescu is something brave indeed, but I do not try do overdo him, this poem is more about my love of his poetry.
You say that the first stanza is contradictory, why to call the god of love to escape from love? Well, if Kamadeva brings the gift of love, why can't he take it away?
Why can't I refer to Eminescu? Is it something forbidden? Why should my idol be someone but Eminescu?
I tell you that, if you REALLY care about his poetry, finish reading my translation. It has its flaws, it doesn't even stand near the genius of Eminescu, but it's still a poem that I love. This poem is his, but I've put the effort to translate it.
The thing I did with this poem is that I tried to translate it. It's the first time I have done it. But I have to explain something:
1. I tried to maintain the original rhythm. Eminescu frequently shifted it making harmonious liaisons between one stanza and another.
2. I tried to respect the original form of the poem. The idea to make longer verses is very nice but does not go with the original. Eminescu wrote in very short verses.
3. The abstract meaning... well... that's something to work on, but even in original, Eminescu is something very different from the rest Romanian poetry. It's like Shakespeare for us.
4. I kept the rhyme scheme as in the original.
5. The gerunds in the second stanza are also from original.
Thanks, tectak for your version! I will try to use it to correct my mistakes!
Serge gurski, wow, do you speak Romanian? Is it your native language or you learned it?
Yes, I know referring to Eminescu is something brave indeed, but I do not try do overdo him, this poem is more about my love of his poetry.
You say that the first stanza is contradictory, why to call the god of love to escape from love? Well, if Kamadeva brings the gift of love, why can't he take it away?
Why can't I refer to Eminescu? Is it something forbidden? Why should my idol be someone but Eminescu?
I tell you that, if you REALLY care about his poetry, finish reading my translation. It has its flaws, it doesn't even stand near the genius of Eminescu, but it's still a poem that I love. This poem is his, but I've put the effort to translate it.