The Old Man
#2
Hi Kieth,
really enjoyed this read... comfortable and comforting in the images and pictures that it brought to mind, sort of felt like a lazy weekend reminisce with some old friends, whilst wearing a boyfriend jumper and stoking the fire. (Mine's a pint of Guinness please!)

No real nits as such, perhaps a couple of the lines feel a bit over long and might benifit from a tweek.
In St1 L2 is it possible to work out a contaction with Could and have.
and in St4 L2 perhaps crossing when the gushing slows.
AJ
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Messages In This Thread
The Old Man - by Keith - 01-14-2013, 11:25 AM
RE: The Old Man - by cidermaid - 01-15-2013, 03:29 AM
RE: The Old Man - by Keith - 01-16-2013, 08:45 AM
RE: The Old Man - by billy - 01-16-2013, 05:51 PM
RE: The Old Man - by Keith - 01-19-2013, 05:58 AM
RE: The Old Man - by Smiffy - 01-19-2013, 07:51 PM
RE: The Old Man - by Keith - 01-19-2013, 09:26 PM
RE: The Old Man - by heslopian - 01-19-2013, 09:41 PM
RE: The Old Man - by Keith - 01-19-2013, 09:49 PM



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