The Recitation

[rowens]

I think you should just revise this poem over and over again for an hour or so. Try to get some intention in it. I see intention in it, but I put it there myself. That's fine sometimes, but from your introduction, I come to think that you had little control over what you were doing.

Anything can be done at this point. Just do anything.

Sharpen the thing. Trim the fat, or make the fat important for some reason. You have decent material to work with.