01-13-2013, 12:32 PM
I like this one: it's easy to follow, has a point, isn't monotonous, and is something I can relate to.
The last line seems awkward though, he's looking forward to his face being "plastered"? It sounds like he's looking forward to being disfigured in an accident!
I applaud you for this effort.
The last line seems awkward though, he's looking forward to his face being "plastered"? It sounds like he's looking forward to being disfigured in an accident!
I applaud you for this effort.