First...

[Card]

Your poem is interesting. It is free verse, meaning that it has no specific rhyme or meter, save your final two lines. Perhaps they shouldn't be rhyming?

Also, the literal structure is very important as well. Does this way look good to you?

where do you go when there is nothing but snow
drifting through time a snowflake in summer

some said he would never die
they were wrong
it was a raindrop that smeared his life away

The rain never stopped
It simply dropped