A Thought About January 1st
#3
(12-06-2012, 05:46 PM)benthejack Wrote:  Hah!
Fantastic idea Big Grin

I loved:
"Change is impossible to avoid.

So, why use your resolution as a defective steroid?"

the linebreak in:
"hoping it will gear
us up for a difference."
is unnecessary, you dont NEED that line to end in rhyme and it threw off my reading quite a lot ("us up for a difference" isn't even half a proper sentence).

I would personally suggest changing that to "hoping it will gear us up towards a difference"

a part from that I liked it.
Thanks for your feedback.
and
"hoping it will gear
us up for a difference."
was meant to be one sentence. Maybe I should be them on the same line together then, huh? lol

I appreciate it!
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Messages In This Thread
A Thought About January 1st - by nothing_good16 - 12-06-2012, 10:18 AM
RE: A Thought About January 1st - by benthejack - 12-06-2012, 05:46 PM
RE: A Thought About January 1st - by nothing_good16 - 01-11-2013, 08:13 AM



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