The Quest for Each Other

[Fathima]

I like this very much. A love story , passionate and perhaps a sense of desperation in the search for one another. I think the term mates detracts from the intense relationship that is implied, perhaps "lovers". Enjoyed this!
my best,
Heart

Hi Heart,

Thank you very much for your comments. I took your advice, and also made a few additional changes. Although, I feel like the poem doesn't flow very well...I'm new to writing poetry. I feel like the last three lines could be re-written. If I could have any feedback or critique on this, I would highly appreciate it. Thank you.


Once lovers in The Timeless Garden
Now, on an earthly given quest to find each other
Adam somewhere in the tropical south heat
Eve somewhere in the cold north mountains
A long lonely almost hopeless solemn journey
Running towards each other looking for the other
In hopes to find that spring of peace and tranquility
And be whole companions forevermore