Gloominess of wonderland

[Todd]

Hi lisanna, welcome to the site! Here are some comments below:

Picture a first glance on a day in December--intriguing opening line. It draws me in. I'm thinking of a relationship, or an attraction of some sort
Buried were you one day before November--I'm not sure how this connects to line one fully, but I'm thrown off by the syntax. I think it would be much stronger not inverted "You were buried..."
I´ve never had that desperate need, that makes me feel so weak--the line lengths give this a real uneven sense. I don't dislike the content of this line
Wonderland Hurry! Hold me tight
I am paralysed, how will I be able to put on a fight--should it be up instead of on
Please stop torturing me,I don´t know who you are, I never invited you in--this is an example of a line that I'd like to see you try to tighten. Is there a way you can say this in fewer words
But the walls between the grasp of life and anxiety are so thin--this is also an interesting line that you could build around. I like it.
See threw and yet not shown to the passing mass --do you mean through?
My soul collapse as broken glass--collapse feels like the wrong word to describe broken glass. Glass shatters or breaks, lungs collapse...just feels off to me
I feel as a burden my feelings are pushed down further--like instead of as. There's also not much this line actually does. You may be able to consolidate or cut
Stand here and watch what is real, pinch me so I can feel
A sharing path you wanted me to see
What a delusion, you left in a bubble where I can´t be--the bubble may be that separation between life and death. It's an image that you may be able to use more fully throughout the poem
A lovely lie once whispered, come closer I´ll hug you, I´ll keep you secure--again, I think you could tighten more here.
What a tempting and compelling lure
Aurora exposing betrayal overshadowed with ashe
With a crystal tear-drop left on my lashe--ashe and lashe aren't spellings I'm familiar with
No kiss on the cheek, but cold rocks to entangle--not a bad line
Solitude has so much more than just one angle
While the pendulum keeps swinging--these last two lines are also nicely phrased
I painfully noticed your heart stopped singing--painfully feels like one too many modifiers

I felt this was a bit of a mixed bag. I think there's a poem in here. I just think it's a bit obscured by a lot of stuff. I don't mean any of this in a harsh way. I hope that the comments will be helpful to you in some way.

Best,

Todd