01-03-2013, 12:57 PM
Why would you get a critique if you aren't going to change anything?
I don't think this piece is unique or interesting. I think it is full of overused phrases. Even though you said you want the audience to "guess" at what your poem is about, the poem still isn't valuable in a literary sense. Anyone could have written a poem this vague. There are ways to do deconstructionist poems without writing something that is completely uninteresting. For example, "Daffy Duck in Hollywood" shares your point of view of not wanting the audience to understand, but does it in a way that is interesting.
Here is a link to the poem "Daffy Duck in Hollywood":
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16190
I also don't understand why you would tell us what the poem is about in an introduction if you want the audience to figure it out. A poem shouldn't need an explanation for people to understand it.
I don't think this piece is unique or interesting. I think it is full of overused phrases. Even though you said you want the audience to "guess" at what your poem is about, the poem still isn't valuable in a literary sense. Anyone could have written a poem this vague. There are ways to do deconstructionist poems without writing something that is completely uninteresting. For example, "Daffy Duck in Hollywood" shares your point of view of not wanting the audience to understand, but does it in a way that is interesting.
Here is a link to the poem "Daffy Duck in Hollywood":
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16190
I also don't understand why you would tell us what the poem is about in an introduction if you want the audience to figure it out. A poem shouldn't need an explanation for people to understand it.