The Kiss

[tectak]

Great title. I really enjoyed the read. Leaves me with lots of nice thoughts. Are you seeing Rodin as this devine creater or maybe using him in reference to God. Or is this a reference to how he changed sculpture from the classical sense to a more realistice depiction, hmmm, great job.
I did leave my humble opinion below. I hope it's helpful

With slightest blow from halting hand, the marble dusts and smokes his eyes. I feel a comma after dusts would be helpful, I think it will make dusts more of an action
His hammer grip is silica white and irritant tears his sight denies; I'm not sure this line is needed, I find you lose connection between L1 and L3 as a result
yet down again, the softest tap, a chip releases life within. I love the next two line together, it's such a strong image
From out of stone the flesh exudes; a new creation can begin.
What form is this? His inner eye, unblinkered by the dense, dead rock, I like this image. It makes me feel as if there is something there, but not yet. If you get my meaning
describes within him ecstasy as vision clears and doors unlock. I think a pause on ecstasy would help
Unlock , by certainty of touch, a duet sung by lovers near Don't like the over use of unlock. I feel some thing like pushed open would fit better
enough to kiss; though moving not, the frozen frame’s intent is clear; (though moving not) a stronger image could be used here, maybe (yet no breath on lips) or something to say it's not yet alive, but it will be.
the hand that cups, the neck that curves, the fingers not yet sure defined, Very nice
the lips still bridged by thinnest seam…Rodin kisses all mankind. Maybe Rodins kiss to all mankind

Great read, thank you

A great crit....there are areas here I will need to work on....in fact, all of your points except the double unlock, I will act on. The double unlock is an attempt to let the reader "feel" as Rodin did......so the second unlock could be read as "Unlock? Yes, by carefully chipping away until the figures escape from the imprisoning rock." Crikey! I like that more than what I originally wrote
Thanks again,
Best,
tectak

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The culture that seemingly defines this particular forum doesn't consider mere congratulations as a 'worthy critique' so, if I want my comment to stay up I need to offer some criticism.

Despite setting the scene with clarity and extraordinary deftness, slipping easily into a middle section which, tho a predictable narrative, is none the less easy to follow and a last quatrain that is neatly linked, enigmatic and cleverly finished off - the poem has a few areas that, if it were mine, I'd continue to work on. I cannot find problems with structure or technique other than maybe some rhymes feel a little shoe-horned into place (L2). L4's rhyme could give the impression of going back in time a little bit. This depends on at what point in his work the sculptor sees the piece coming to life but to end the second couplet with 'a new creation can begin' after a 'chip releases life within' in the line before felt the wrong way around to me. 'Unlock' repeated, went surprisingly unnoticed first read, maybe because I admire the creativity with which you finish the poem.
Despite it being an obviously rhyming piece I don't feel it's driven by the need to rhyme, they just fall into place. Respect.

Thanks pete.
I have to bow to pressure on this one except for the double unlock. See my reply to Jae. I don't want to over-dignify the word "creation" which I hope is just double entendre enough to swing the thinking between production (man) and creation ( god). This mixed view extends to the dichotomy of new life (god) and release of same by chipping away (man). The order of events does not then matter........and with one bound he was free
Edit in due course.
Thanks again.
Best,
tectak