The Kiss

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Great title. I really enjoyed the read. Leaves me with lots of nice thoughts. Are you seeing Rodin as this devine creater or maybe using him in reference to God. Or is this a reference to how he changed sculpture from the classical sense to a more realistice depiction, hmmm, great job.
I did leave my humble opinion below. I hope it's helpful

With slightest blow from halting hand, the marble dusts and smokes his eyes. I feel a comma after dusts would be helpful, I think it will make dusts more of an action
His hammer grip is silica white and irritant tears his sight denies; I'm not sure this line is needed, I find you lose connection between L1 and L3 as a result
yet down again, the softest tap, a chip releases life within. I love the next two line together, it's such a strong image
From out of stone the flesh exudes; a new creation can begin.
What form is this? His inner eye, unblinkered by the dense, dead rock, I like this image. It makes me feel as if there is something there, but not yet. If you get my meaning
describes within him ecstasy as vision clears and doors unlock. I think a pause on ecstasy would help
Unlock , by certainty of touch, a duet sung by lovers near Don't like the over use of unlock. I feel some thing like pushed open would fit better
enough to kiss; though moving not, the frozen frame’s intent is clear; (though moving not) a stronger image could be used here, maybe (yet no breath on lips) or something to say it's not yet alive, but it will be.
the hand that cups, the neck that curves, the fingers not yet sure defined, Very nice
the lips still bridged by thinnest seam…Rodin kisses all mankind. Maybe Rodins kiss to all mankind

Great read, thank you