The Kiss

[aaron]

i like what you did here the images flow nicely from sculptor to sculpture. my only complaint is that the first line feels a little jumpy. it feels a little like caveman talk. the form is quite interesting it reads like a ballad but you've squashed it all together it makes it feel more like a statue, although it made my reading feel rushed. spread it out into quatrains and see what you think( just a suggestion). all in all i feel that you've captured you're impression of this work nicely and you've even gone beyond that and illustrated its creation.
two thumbs up
thanx for the read