12-24-2012, 12:09 PM
thank you so much for your honest opinion, this is what i was hoping for when joining this site. It is about the relationship between the sky and the clouds and the relationship that they share. I use personification a lot but can still only grasp it to a minimal extent. I will take on board all that you have said, i was planning on shortening this piece and changing the tempo to try and show the speed of the relationship and how fleeting it can be.
The flashes of pure blue were supposed to show the sky fighting back, rejecting the darkness that the clouds bring, but i do know that this piece is a shambles at the moment but with a little bit of time i should hopefully be able to mold this in to a acceptable piece of writing.
The flashes of pure blue were supposed to show the sky fighting back, rejecting the darkness that the clouds bring, but i do know that this piece is a shambles at the moment but with a little bit of time i should hopefully be able to mold this in to a acceptable piece of writing.