Love is War- Critique Please :)
#1
Love is War-


My father once told me that love is a lot like war

And, at first, I didn’t believe him


But you’ve had me shell-shocked from our first lip-lock

I want to march my fingers through the landmines of your spine

A drummer boy carefully patrolling, treading, dragging

his feet across each hilly vertebra to the beat of charges exploding

Detonating them one by one, by one, by one creating a growing cacophony of claymore cadence

That starts way inside your voice box and ends as vibrations I can feel shake the air like a 747

kicking up a dust tornado picking me up and dropping me

back to the first time your shaky voice said “I love you.”



Together we are camouflaged as one

Our skin burns like napalm. We become each other’s victim of arson.

Our snare-drum hearts combine to create the tempo of helicopter blade wing beats.

You can tell the way ricochet from the trail of your lingerie

from the couch, through the hallway and to the bedroom where we stay.

Switching up formations for diverse unification, lay siege to temptation,

tongues tasting each other’s radiation for moments of pure recreation and salvation.

We lay still trying to salvage the wreckage of our battle beat bodies

Shrapnel of each other imbedded in our skin so far, so deep that it won’t ever be reached,

no matter how long we dig the trenches.


You’ve got me thinking we are the lost battalion sitting stubborn atop this hillside

Fighting to pay bills and practicing our pinch penny drills

And the whole word has forgotten our forty

But that’s alright because I’ve got your six

We are starving while fighting off artillery and carving deliberately into the sides of barricades our last wishes

Wishes of tank reinforcements, flank rescues, enemy miscues, food for our famined platoon, our just married balloons, friendly cannon booms, mustard gas mishaps, “Mom, please send some cash”, bullets for our ammo stash, auxiliary infantry, correct missile trajectory and most of all just a little taste of real life victory.


Because victory tastes like love and love tastes like war.
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Messages In This Thread
Love is War- Critique Please :) - by KbPoetry - 12-21-2012, 04:36 PM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by billy - 12-21-2012, 04:44 PM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by KbPoetry - 12-21-2012, 05:13 PM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by billy - 12-21-2012, 06:50 PM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by Pete Ak - 12-21-2012, 08:57 PM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by Todd - 12-29-2012, 12:24 AM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by KbPoetry - 12-29-2012, 07:01 AM
RE: Love is War- Critique Please :) - by Todd - 12-29-2012, 07:20 AM



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