12-06-2012, 05:46 PM
Hah!
Fantastic idea
I loved:
"Change is impossible to avoid.
So, why use your resolution as a defective steroid?"
the linebreak in:
"hoping it will gear
us up for a difference."
is unnecessary, you dont NEED that line to end in rhyme and it threw off my reading quite a lot ("us up for a difference" isn't even half a proper sentence).
I would personally suggest changing that to "hoping it will gear us up towards a difference"
a part from that I liked it.
Fantastic idea
I loved:
"Change is impossible to avoid.
So, why use your resolution as a defective steroid?"
the linebreak in:
"hoping it will gear
us up for a difference."
is unnecessary, you dont NEED that line to end in rhyme and it threw off my reading quite a lot ("us up for a difference" isn't even half a proper sentence).
I would personally suggest changing that to "hoping it will gear us up towards a difference"
a part from that I liked it.
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz