12-03-2012, 01:24 PM
wow steamroller of a poem!
I really appreciate the full turn this forced on my view of the character, the last verse was like whiplash.
My one comment is the use of "young ...." in the first two verses, maybe could think of some other adjective for the dad?
I really appreciate the full turn this forced on my view of the character, the last verse was like whiplash.
My one comment is the use of "young ...." in the first two verses, maybe could think of some other adjective for the dad?
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz