Behind a Different Door:

[billy]

Billy, at first I read this and thought Billy's just playing around. Very quickly, I saw that wasn't the case. The voice was excellent, very believable.

she's holding the broom...

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--maybe more subtle with a different sense. "I hear her sweeping in front of the door" that's not perfect but I'm thinking just have her using the broom. It will come across. Just a thought. How you have it still works

originated from this thread.


Good write Billy.

thanks for the feedback and kind words

i'll think about the broom line todd, i was aiming at making it less of a household item and more an article of pain.

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Thinking, "she's seen me now, and she's got the broom" -- a bit shorter, a bit more childish.

But honestly, my first reaction was just "holy fuck". I need a bit of recovery time.

thanks for the feedback and for that specific reaction, it's the one i was going for. i like the 'she's got the broom' part. will do a small edit in a day or two.