11-29-2012, 12:14 PM
I liked how you described the scene, using her actions and reactions and your actions and reactions. It made me feel like I was there.
The emotions from start to finish were expressed phenomenally without it being too mushy it felt real.
I agree with TwistedAngel the line "I risked a surreptitious glance at your reflection" is my favorite and I also loved " if love can happen in an instant
I think I loved you then"
You know what, I can't actually find anything I don't like maybe because I'm a girl and a sucker for this so I can't offer any constructive criticism without being a little bias. But I really like how you wrote this.
The emotions from start to finish were expressed phenomenally without it being too mushy it felt real.
I agree with TwistedAngel the line "I risked a surreptitious glance at your reflection" is my favorite and I also loved " if love can happen in an instant
I think I loved you then"
You know what, I can't actually find anything I don't like maybe because I'm a girl and a sucker for this so I can't offer any constructive criticism without being a little bias. But I really like how you wrote this.