11-27-2012, 05:38 AM
I do love a villanelle, and I enjoy what you've done with the refrains here -- it's a brave man who ventures between those cobwebby thighs! The redemption of this fabled spinster is a terrific idea for a poem (although I'm not convinced that a mere tumble with Mr Dickens would do the trick).
The rhymes are gentled by your conversational (albeit rather elegant) tone and the shifting refrain softens the form well. I found "beautiful Miss Havisham" (S5, L3) a little harsh on the ear and I'm not keen on "grips your soul" in S6 L1, but that may be simply the cringe I've developed after too much emo poetry
This was a great read, thanks very much!
The rhymes are gentled by your conversational (albeit rather elegant) tone and the shifting refrain softens the form well. I found "beautiful Miss Havisham" (S5, L3) a little harsh on the ear and I'm not keen on "grips your soul" in S6 L1, but that may be simply the cringe I've developed after too much emo poetry
This was a great read, thanks very much!
It could be worse