11-23-2012, 11:06 PM
I like this, think the last verse is just right. The rhythm in the first verse seems out of sync to the rest, the lines are too long. I'd suggest something like this
"Fine, but too many gays," said dad
when I asked how a date with my stepmom went
(they'd been to a dinner 'n' dancing joint).
the kind a lot of men share - maybe you could put "straight" before men
"Fine, but too many gays," said dad
when I asked how a date with my stepmom went
(they'd been to a dinner 'n' dancing joint).
the kind a lot of men share - maybe you could put "straight" before men
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.